Adulting 101: We Didn’t Ask for this Sh*t

DISCLAIMER: This blog almost didn’t get written because I had to choose to either pay my internet bill or eat for the rest of the week.

A choice was made.

And we’re here

Blogging for 300 please.

Food ain’t really shit anyway, just a lil nourishment.

Welcome to Adulting.

I’m here sacrificing myself to provide a little insight on the truths about Adulting.

If you’re underage and reading this please hold on tight, you’re in for THE reality check of your life.

If you’re of age and reading this, then NIGGA we made it.

You stayed ten toes down.

You’re breathing, you’re alive, and you’re well an adult.


Before we get started on the ins and outs of adulthood I just want to say one ting, and one ting only:

WE DID NOT ASK FOR THIS SHIT.

Our mothers could’ve easily swallowed, or even SPIT (something I personally don’t condone)

Swallowed or SPAT.

Simple shit.

Dang Moma.

But,

Being a kid was fun, no responsibilities, no cares in the world, no bills, no abortions.

Sorry, Typo.

But anyways, we’re here in our early AND late 20’s paying bills, ending relationships, mending relationships, quitting our jobs, starting businesses/brands, going to weddings, stealing tissue from work, going to baby showers, stretching our last $7, clinging to our youth and pulling out our hair.

We are all Britney Spears in the year 2007.

Shit stressful bruh.

Let’s all gather in laughter and reminisce at the times we wished we were grown.

We some big ass goofies.

We don’t know if we’e coming or going, if we want to be single or in a relationship, if we want to fuck or suck, but mostly if we want to delete all of our social media and run away from the world.

We Don’t Have the Answers.

We LOST as fuck. Lol

And we all need help, which is why we’re HERE.

Me writing and you reading.

Usually I have the answers, but this topic got a bitch questioning herself.


Adulting : to carry out one or more of the duties and responsibilities expected of fully developed individuals.

Basically, Adulting = Slow death

We (grown ass people) have to complete duties and responsibilities with total lack of knowledge, with random vicissitudes, with shock, with surprise, and the big one with ambivalence.

Shit just be coming out the woodworks.

Our parents warned us, but did they really tell us it would be like this?


Yeah you grown, but you ain’t grown grown.

Can you file your own taxes?

Who still has their mother making their doctor’s appointment?

Interesting.

The kicker is…y’all be fucking, getting hit from the back, swallowing dick, eating pussy & ass, sucking toes, and trying anal without lube.

But y’all Moma still making doctor appointments and maybe even washing your clothes?

Niggaaaaaaaa.

Yikes.


I’m here to tell everyone to MAN TF UP.

It’s time to grow up.

It’s time to be intentional about our finances, relationships, and self care.

It’s TIME TO GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER.

We didn’t ask to be here, but got damn it we here.


Adulting is hard, there should be courses implemented in high schools nationwide.

Adulting is not only finances, (debts, sallie mae, credit cards, personal spending, parking tickets, and bills, bills, bills).

Adulting is also finding yourself and the relationships that are meant for you.

But most importantly adulting is those damn bills.

Lining up every month like they waiting for government cheese.

Our bills are bullies.


In order to be an adult we must take accountability and responsibility for our actions and our words.

We can not avoid our problems!

Y’all can hear me.

I said we can not avoid our problems, grown ups don’t move like that.

We have to face all of our problems head on, with big dick energy.

Make our problems our bitch.

Because these things:

Are inevitable.

With adulting comes anxiety, stress, and negativity.

Problems are inevitable and you’re not the only mf going through something, so save your tears hoe.

We have to work THROUGH our problems not around them.

Let’s admit it, it’s hard out here.

Not only are we on the journey to finding our true self, we have to pay to stay alive.

Damn.

But how can we manage all of this? How are we getting up daily knocking this shit out?

How do we deal with stress? Deal with low credit scores? Deal with fuck niggas and snake bitches? How do we balance our family and social life? How do we keep up our appearance and wardrobe?

Nigga HOW!

Let’s break this shit all the way down.


First things first Rest In Peace Uncle Phil forreal.

Second thing, as an adult you can NOT be lazy.

Laziness will kill you and your adult dreams.

A lazy Bitch is a bum one.

A lazy nigga is a man without a plan.


Here’s four must haves as an adult:

Organization/Time Management

Get organized! This is crucial. I’m still struggling with organization, but you didn’t hear that from me.

Do as I say, not as I do.

The easiest way to start organizing your life is to get rid of dead weight (this includes people)

Get rid of those old clothes, shoes, niggas, bitches.

If it’s not feeding your spirit, dead it.

Clean HOUSE!

Holding on to shit that you don’t need, or people who aren’t reciprocating your energy is stalling your growth.

How are you supposed to be a grown up without growth?

Next, grab some organizers, schedulers, and planners.

I’m talking to the niggas too.

Schedule your pussy appointments.

Y’all can do that tho, tuh.

If planners don’t work, organize on your phone. I know you don’t put that lil mf down.

Manage your time or you’ll die.

Sorry that was a little dramatic, but fr.

Schedule EVERYTHING.

Events, family gatherings, social gatherings, personal time.

Writing down your things to do and goals will make adulting that much EASIER.

Get your credit score together by using SmartCredit.com.

Grab some Planners from Michaels, Walmart, Target probably got em.

Download the apps Digit, Qapital, or Albert and start saving your money!

And ACTUALLY LOOK AT THE THINGS YOU WRITE DOWN.

Yes, I’m yelling.


Discernment

In order to organize you must use discernment to know who and what isn’t good for you.

This is huge when ADULTING.

This is about knowing what you’re willing to accept or not accept from jobs, relationships, or even yourself.

This is about self care, finding yourself, protecting yourself.

How do you choose what’s right for you?

Discernment is all about having good judgement, and following your first mind.

It’s about making the right choices.

Can you really afford those new Balenciagas? Or do you owe Capital One?

Can you really go on vacation right now and your rent is due?

Ask yourself THAT.

Is the weed burning a hole in your pocket?

Maybe smoke one blunt a day rather than 5.

Just do me a favor and use,

DISCERNMENT.

To help with your discernment, write out your feelings towards the people or things in your life even yourself.

But please…

Don’t waste your time!

If it isn’t for you, leave it where it stands. This includes your job, your friends, shit yo Moma.As an adult we have no time to waste, life is happening. Stop trying to live beyond your means when you know for a FACT you don’t got it like that.

Be an adult, make wise decisions.


When all else fails….

Fuck until you can’t no mo.

Be ACCOUNTABLE, Be RESPONSIBLE, Be INTENTIONAL.

Adult WISELY, think before you act.

Take your time, but not too much time.

Thank you adults for coming to my TED Talk.


Alexa, play Forever Young.

PERIOD!

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