This post is NOT for the ladies who suck dick under the covers. Out here sneaking dick. Now we all know what you won’t do another bitch will, so I’m here to let you in on a couple of tips, tricks, and testimonies.
Who am I to tell you what good head is? Little Ole Me. But I do know this bitch Karrine Steffans has it in the bag. Remember when she said Shaq had the entire mattress soaking so they had to flip it? Or when she was in the back of the limo with Jay Z and he whipped his shit out and she got right to it? Every one wanted a piece of Ms. Steffans.
But this post isn’t about the bitch who was married and would get out the bed at 4 a.m to go swing her neck on Lil Wayne’s Coke induced cum.
This post is for the ladies out there struggling to make her man satisfied off fellatio and for the men who are afraid to tell his bitch what he likes.
Stop reading right here if you’re not willing to lose all respect for yourself while performing oral on your man. You have a reputation to uphold while down there in those trenches.
Some cultures like the Indonesian culture would say oral sex is taboo (boooooo, suck that dick) Oral sex is NEEDED in foreplay, and if your bitch ain’t doing it get a new bitch.
Now learn your way around the shaft. You might be a little hesitant at first. Sniff it out, become one with it.
Now that you’ve become pen pals with it, go in for the kill.
Don’t give up quite yet, you got this baby.
Can’t fathom putting it in your mouth? The next section is just for you.
TIPS TRICKS And TESTIMONIES
Disclaimer: Don’t swing your neck for a nigga that ain’t cuttin a check. Don’t lose all respect for a man that doesn’t respect you.
The fun part:
1. You have to want to do it. If you do no want to do it, go be single.
2. Make sure your mouth is wet, as wet as possible. Or it’ll be like sucking a Chico-o-Stick. Dry. Now he’s embarrassed for you and he looking for his romper.
3. The view is important, make sure you look up at him from time to time. And have a nice arch he can look at 👌🏾
4. The TIP, the most important part. (Can I just put the tip in?, next thing you know you riding him from the back, but I digress) now you have to take care of the tip. It’s the most sensitive and they feel everything here, so lock jaw the tip, apply pressure! Switch it up though (fast, slow) our bodies have muscle memory. Muscle memory in this case means that his penis already knows what to expect if you continue to do the same shit.
5. The Tornado Twist, just like it sounds. Grab your hand(s) and twist the penis while simultaneously sucking. Thank me later.
6. Make noise you boring bitch! All types of noise!
7. The balls 😖 Touch them, but they are very sensitive. So be careful.
8. Is your nose running yet?
9. If your jaws are tired, take the tip and massage it around your gums. You need a break sis, you’re doing amazing sweetie.
10. Be yourself, enjoy yourself.
Survey from The Esquire, The Average woman was asked if they perform oral. Be in that 30%.
Men do not be afraid to tell your girl, wife, or side bitch to do any of these things. If she likes you enough it won’t be a problem.
Please look at Fantasia in that picture. That’s how your girl should look.
Thank You. Be Blessed.
Joanne the Scammer
*That bitch trying to eat broccoli by the way